


The Ride Home

by Christian_the_bluefrog



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Baby, Bottom Cas, Fucking, Happy Ending, M/M, Motels, Shy Castiel, Smut, Top Dean, love making
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-02 05:56:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14538129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Christian_the_bluefrog/pseuds/Christian_the_bluefrog
Summary: Dean and Cas are on their way home after a quick case, when hidden feelings start to surface.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is part one there should be more out soon. It’s my first fic, here we go!

Dean’s sitting behind the wheel, Cas riding shotgun. It’s early afternoon and the windows are cracked letting a nice breeze sweep through. They had just finished a short case; vampire nest. And now the boys were headed home to check on Sammy; who had caught a bad stomach bug. He had insisted on coming anyway and it took a little convincing to get him to stay and rest up. After about thirty minutes Sam was too tired to argue anymore.  
Eye of the Tiger comes on the radio and Dean turns the dial way up. Cas smiles trying not to stare as Dean starts to tap his hands on the wheel to the beat adding in a few little dance moves. Cas can’t help but watch as the smile on Deans face starts to grow. He loved that beautiful smile; that beautiful man. He’d thought about telling Dean so many times he’d lost count. Cas shook the though from his head. This moment was the type of moment he lived for; Dean smiling and enjoying himself. Cas could never get tired of just watching Dean be happy. Truly happy. 

Dean looked over at Cas and caught him watching his moves.  
“It’s the eye of the tiger, it’s the-“ He motioned to Castiel to join in.  
“Thrill of the fight rising up to...” The boys finished the song together and by the end Dean had Cas moving to the beat. He sighed a satisfied sigh and turned the radio down and looking over to his angel. Cas wasn’t his angel though and Dean knew he never would be. He was too scared to admit the truth for reasons he himself was still working out. He felt this shame at first, the first time he realized he felt more then friendship for this man- no this... there still weren’t words that fit. Of course Dean knew he was an angel but he was more then that. He was different from ever other angel; his personality, his will, the fight he could see in Cas’ eyes. He wasn’t just an angel anymore. Something had changed or maybe grown making him more then an angel.  
Dean pulled himself out of his head and realized he’d been on autopilot. It was well past dark. He let out a yawn realizing just how tired he actually was. He looked over to Cas who was staring out the window looking up at the sky. It was a half moon and the stars were out. Dean could see the wonder and amazement on Cas’ face. No matter how many times he’d seen something if it was special to Cas, like bees or stars he would watch them in awe. Dean pulled off at the next turn into a small town.  
“Dean, if you’re tired I can drive.” Cas offered. He shook his head.  
“Nah, it’s late and as comfy as Baby is I’d really like to stretch out. If you don’t mind?”  
“Of course not Dean.”

Cas was actually happy to have more alone time with him. Of course he loved Sam, but his time alone with Dean was special. He could never get enough. They pulled up to an old motel; The Sleep Inn. Dean grabbed the small bag from the back and both boys headed inside; Cas holding the door for Dean. He wondered if Dean ever noticed the small things Cas tried to do for him. Things a significant other might do. Holding doors, cleaning up for Dean after a meal in the bunker, bring him a beer when he seemed stressed.  
“One bed or two?” The elderly women behind the desk asked.  
“Two please.” Cas said as Dean pulled out a card.  
“And how long are you gentlemen planing on staying with us?” She swiped the card into the system.  
“Just tonight.” Dean answered taking the card back. She pulled a key of a hook on the wall and placed it in Cas’ palm.  
“Room three. Sleep well you two, and don’t forget to sleep in.” She chucked. Cas could tell that was her favorite joke. He opened the door and inside were two very clean looking double beds with gray blankets. There was the standard wooden table between the beds with an old fashion telephone and alarm clock. Dean set the keys down on the table by the door and taking the bag with him said he was going to take a shower. Cas sat down on the bed away from the AC unit knowing that Dean preferred the one closer to it. After flipping through the channels for a bit he settled for a news station. Not that he was paying attention to it, he let his mind wander as the voices faded into the background. Admittedly he had had many sexual thoughts about Dean but right now, in this moment, there was nothing sexual about his thoughts. He was jealous of the water droplets. They rolled over Deans forehead and lips, through his hair, down his arms. What he would give to just for a moment, be those water droplets. He could imagine them running over his handprint on Deans arm. He wondered if Dean ever thought about that scar, or if was just part of him now, like a freckle that starts to blend in until you hardly notice it.  
The shower turned off and Cas turned his attention to the news. Apparently there was a man arrested today for vandalizing a local bee farm. Dean came out of the bathroom in a faded Metallica T-shirt and flannel pajama pants.  
“Dean, look at this.” He came and sat next the angel as the pictures of damaged bee boxes and littered spray paint cans flashed across the screen. Hundreds of dead bees, spray pained blue littered the ground.  
“The culprit had this to say, ‘The old man had it coming, you mess with with my crew, we mess you up.’ Apparently the bee farm owner had left an anonymous tip with local authorities about a stolen car. And-“  
Dean turned off the tv. There were tears in Cas’ eyes. Dean stood up and pulled him into a hug. This made Cas cry a little harder, Dean wasn’t the physical comfort type. But with no hesitation or thought he had wrapped him up in his still shower warm arms. This man who carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, who pushes almost everyone away, who hides his feelings as long as he possibly can, this wonderful, amazing, beautiful man is comforting him because some bees died. Cas burred his head as deeply as he could into Deans neck as the tears stopped. His mind went back to the thought. The one thought that without fail popped up every day. ‘Tell him how you feel.’ He pushed it down, tried to bury it for the millionth time. What was the worst thing that could happen? Dean would reject him. He could feel so uncomfortable that he never wanted to see Cas again. He could loose him forever. Was telling Dean how much he loved him worth that? Could there be a chance, the tiniest little hope that maybe Dean felt the same? Or even just understood and would still want to be around him? In this moment being held by Dean, it was worth it. 

Dean held Cas tight and locked his hands behind his angles back. He didn’t question or think twice when Cas snuggled into his neck. He would hold him as long as he needed. Cas crying was one of the very few things that could bring tears to Deans eyes. He Fought the tears and won this time. This moment was about comforting Cas; not his feelings for Cas. Not that he ever thought he could bring them up. How could an angel ever feel anything close to love towards him. Cas was his friend, his best friend; but how much of that was by choice. He was ordered to pull him from hell. He had to stick around because of what happened and maybe, yeah he started to like Dean as a friend. And as he stuck around he grew more attached to Dean; but how much of that was the “more profound bond”? What exactly did that mean anyway. Was it an imprint on him, like the mark on his shoulder?  
“Dean?” Cas’ voice was shaking. Dean released him from the hug and pulled him back, keeping his hands on his angels shoulders.  
“I love you, Dean. I’ve loved you for a while now. I never had the strength to say it before, but I need you to know, I love you.”  
Deans tongue swelled in his throat. His heart raced. His mind panicking.  
“Cas, I-“ the words wouldn’t come. They ran, they ran fast and far and no matter how hard Dean tried he could not catch them. His hands were frozen on Cas’ shoulders. They wouldn’t move; not to pull him into a hug, not to squeeze, not to do anything. Anything at all to comfort his angel. Then in the blink of an eye, Cas was gone. Leaving Dean alone, frozen, broken. Because he was too afraid to admit he was in love with Cas too.


	2. Chapter 2

Cas didn’t know where he was going. He found himself along the highway that he and Dean were traveling right before town. His legs were shaking what had he done? In a fraction of a second he shattered his whole existence. Nothing would ever be the same. Nothing. His legs buckled under him and he dropped to his knees. Cas had felt pain before, cuts from an angel blade, torture, even needles jammed into his skull and brain, but this pain was so much more intense. From the tips of his fingers to the most inner workings of his mind he ached. And with nothing else he could do he lay down on the side of the road and wept. 

It only took a moment for Dean's body to return to him, but it felt like years. What had he done? That was the moment, if ever there was any hope of him telling Cas how he felt that was it, and he froze.  
“Of course I froze! Why the hell not?” He was shouting into the air. “He had the courage to say he loved me; Me! The imperfect, alcoholic, broken man I am. Why the hell does he love me?” Then Dean stopped yelling. The anger that was boiling inside melted away.  
“He loves me.” They were the softest words he’d ever whispered. Nothing else mattered, the why could wait. He grabbed his phone and dialed Cas. A vibrating noise came from the bedside table.  
“Okay, the old fashioned way. Cas, I need you to come back. I-“ he stopped praying. Nothing he could say would make this right. Not like this anyway.  
“Please come back Cas. Castiel, please!” Deafening silence filled the room. “Cas!” The next door neighbor banged hard on the wall.  
“Screw you too buddy.” Dean grabbed the bag and keys. He was going to find Cas and fix this. 

Castiel had heard Deans prayers; but he tuned them out. Hearing Deans excuses or apologizes or anything at all would only make this agony worse. What did he think would happen? Dean would confess his undying love for him? He has been caught up in a moment of bliss and ruined everything. The moment kept replaying in his head, Deans voice “Cas I-“ He let out another round of sobs. A pair of headlights came into view in the distance, and Cas sat up. The last thing he needed was to try and explain why he was laying on the ground crying to a concerned stranger. Picking himself up he slowly crossed the street and sat down behind the tree line. The tears had been replaced by dry heaving coming deep from his gut. He’d cried himself sick; he adjusted himself leaning forward on his left hand. The retching grew stronger and with nothing in his stomach to throw up, the nausea was overwhelming. His head pounded and the tiniest noises slammed against his ear drums like a wrecking ball against a concrete building. Cas slumped down to his elbows, back aching as the heaving continued. His vision narrowed and seconds after he blacked out. 

Dean was doing ten in a sixty.  
“Cas! Cas!” His voice was started to go horse, and there was a gravelly feeling in his throat. He’d been searching for at least four hours. Every street in the city had been combed over, and now he’d moved onto the main roads they’d came in on.  
“Cas! Come on man, please.” Deans eyes were red and burning from tears, his nose runny and sore from being wiped with the rough fabric of his jacket. 

Then he spotted something tan at the edge of the tree line; Cas’ coat. In a matter of seconds he was out of the car and at his angels side. Cas was passed out on his stomach. Dean grabbed him by the shoulders and tried to shake him awake. He mumbled something Dean couldn’t understand but still didn’t open his eyes.  
“You’re okay, Cas.” He pulled him into his lap and started to rock him slowly.  
“You’re going to be okay. I promise.” Cas murmured something else very softly and the only thing Dean could make out was his name.  
“I’m right here. Let’s get you back to the room.” Cas was as limp as a rag doll, a few minutes later Dean had him laying down in the back seat.  
“I’m not good at this Cas. I’d never thought-“ he pulled back onto the road.  
“I know why you took off, I just wish you’d given me a little more time to react, ya know? And I don’t blame you for not answering my prayers. I blame me, all of this is on me, okay? So don’t you think for a second any of this is on you. I know you can’t hear me, but let’s call this practice for when you can.”  
Dean pulled back inside the parking lot and managed to get Cas onto the bed. He took his shoes off first, then his coat and blue jacket. He hung them on a chair that he pulled up to the bed. Pulling the covers up over his angels chest he placed a light kiss on his cheek. He was about to sit down when his phone buzzed in his pocket. Nine missed calls from Sam.  
“Shit.” He answered the phone.  
“Dude, what the hell? Are you guys alright?”  
“Yeah, we’re fine.” Dean cleared his throat.  
“Your voice sounds rough. Did you catch that bug I have?”  
“Yeah maybe, listen Sam-“ Cas’ screams ripped through the still air of the motel room. Dean dropped his phone and ran across the room to his angels side. Cas was having what looked like a night terror on steroids. He was clawing at the air and lunging every direction. Dean managed to get on top of him and pin him.

“Calm down Cas. I got you. I’m right here. Please, I’m right here.” He was using his full body weight to keep Cas from climbing out of the bed, and after a few seconds Cas went limp again. Dean grabbed his phone and sat on the bed next to Cas’ feet. Sams screaming could be heard through the speake, before he even had it up to his ear.  
“It’s fine Sam. Everything is fine.”  
“Everything is not fine! That was Cas, where are you? I-“ Dean cut him off.  
“Cas told me he loved me, and now he’s passed out on the bed because I’m a jackass and don’t know how to talk about my feelings. Everything is not fine, you’re right. But I don’t need this right now.” Dean hung up and threw the phone across the room. One crisis at a time. He got up and sat in the chair he had placed next the the head of the bed. Cas had shifted to the fetal position and his hand gripped the covers tightly in a balled up fist.  
Dean sighed and placed his hand on Cas’ fist. He ran his fingers along the soft skin and slowly tried to loosen his angels grip. Eventually he had uncurled Cas’ fingers and now his hand was griping Deans.  
“Everything will be okay, Cas. Everything will be okay.”


	3. Chapter 3

Dean sat holding Cas’ hand all night. Not once did even think of sleep. His mind was spinning, thinking back to the first time they met and every moment between. If he was going to open up about this, then he had to prepare. Every feeling, good or bad, out in the open. Before he knew it the sun was rising. Cas had been shifting slightly this last hour, and Dean was dreading and ecstatic for the moment when he would wake up. Cas, his eyes still closed, let go of Dean’s hand and stretched both arms up. His eyes pealed themselves open slowly; red and sore. They rested on Dean’s face and everything that happened last night came flooding back in a title wave of emotions. Cas sat up and scooted back on the bed away from Dean. They stared into each others eyes, each waiting for the other to speak.  
“I knew I had feelings for you, definite feelings, more than friends feelings, in Purgatory. Every night after I prayed to you, it hurt a little more. Knowing that you couldn’t hear me. After we both got out and you showed me you stayed on purpose, I was pissed. I told myself that those feelings were nothing more then being lonely and missing you. When the angel possessing that red head, April, when she killed you. That’s when I knew for sure. When I was holding your face in my hands, the emptiness I felt, I can’t describe it. Then when Gadreel healed you-“ Dean trailed off. Cas’ took a deep breath but and let it out slowly. Dean wasn’t sure if he should start talking again, but he didn’t exactly know what to say next.  
“I thought I knew what love was.” Cas’ voice was low and soft. “I loved my brothers and sisters. I loved my Father. But I didn’t know, everything I learned about love came from you, Dean. There was no exact moment, no click. It just grew, every time I saw you, there was this warm feeling of joy. I have known for years, but I never actually planed on telling you. I was too afraid to loose your friendship. I’d always thought maybe if I’d have found a female vessel, things might have been different.” Dean stood up slowly and climbed onto the bed. Cas shifted back, not knowing exactly how to react. Both of them sat crisscross in front of each other. Dean reached out and took his angel’s hands in his own.  
“I didn’t fall in love with your body Cas, I fell in love with you. Who you are, the choices you made, the things you’ve given up, what you’ve risked for Sam and me, those things make you who you are; who I love.” Dean leaned closer until there were only a few inches between them. Cas was trembling, he pulled away, stood up, and took a few steps from the bed.  
“Dean, I need you to be sure. I don’t know how I survived last night, but if we start this, I need to know you mean it.” Dean swiftly climbed across the bed and draped his arms over Cas’ shoulders. He gently pressed his lips against those of the angel he loved. They were warm and sweet and soft.  
“I’m sure.” He pulled away and those big, bright, blue eyes had tears in them. He swiped them slowly away with his thumbs.  
“No more crying okay?” Cas nodded smiling and Dean pulled him into a tight hug. They held each other contently, each nuzzling into the other neck. Cas pulled away first, only to go in for a second kiss. It was slow and sweet, Dean used his tongue to gently open Cas’ mouth and the kiss became more passionate. Cas’ hands were running through Deans hair while Dean pulled Cas closer by the hips. He started grinding his growing bulge against Deans leg and Dean pulled back.  
“We don’t have to do that Cas. Don’t think you have to do that. I don’t want that if you’re not okay with it.”  
“Dean, I’m very okay with it.” Dean’s pants were already getting tight. He nodded and swiftly spun Cas around, pushing him on the bed. Glancing around he found the go bag, ran over and started searching.  
“Dean?” Cas sat up confused. Dean continued rifling through the bag.  
“I have never been more grateful for Sam’s long hair and preening habits.” In his hand was a bottle of coconut oil. He tossed it next to Cas and climbed on top of him, sitting just above his hips.  
“I don’t have much experience with this. I-“ Dean stopped him with a peck on the lips.  
“It’s okay, we’ll go slow. Stop me if you don’t like something okay?” Cas nodded biting his lip which drove Dean wild. He started unbuttoning Cas’ shirt while nipping at the angels neck. When he was done he pulled his own shirt off and Cas finished removing his. Dean knelt down and continued nipping, licking, and sucking on his angels neck and ear. Each time he hit a sweet stop Cas would gasp and grip Dean’s back.  
“Still okay?” He asked allowing his lips to gently touch Cas’ ear. He nodded pulling Dean closer. He started planting tiny kisses down to his angels chest. He kissed along his collar bone, along the biceps of each arm and back, and then he began a slow trail of kisses down his stomach. Each lasting longer then the last as he undid Cas’ pants. He gently pulled them and his boxers down and tossed them aside. Cas’ cock was at full mass and already leaking pre-cum. Dean leaned down but Cas stopped him.  
“You don’t have to do that Dean. I know you’re pushing yourself just being with me like this.”  
“Cas, I want you to feel good. I want to hear you to moan with pleasure. I want to feel you squirm under me. I want this.” Cas bit his bottom lip again and nodded. Dean carefully plased his hands on his angels hips and spread his legs apart as he moved his hands down. Slowly he ran his tongue from the base of Cas’ shaft all the way up to the tip, which made Cas shiver and suck in a huge gulp of air. In one swift motion he took all of Cas in his mouth down the base.  
The lights snapped on and blew out, which made Dean smile with his mouth full. He started bobbing his head up and down slowly and then faster using his tongue to get the sensitive spots. The old tube tv turned on and after a few more seconds of Dean’s warm mouth wrapped around Cas it blew out too.  
“Dean, I’m- Ahhhhahahah” Cum erupted down Dean’s throat, which was different, but not bad. The noise that Cas made thought, it was just so deliciously naughty. Dean licked up his angel’s stomach and kissed his chest and face while he removed his own pants.  
“You tell me if you don’t like this or especially if it hurts.” Cas pulls Dean back to him by his hair and whispers in his ear.  
“I love you so much, you’re so gentle and soft and caring. That was the best feeling in my whole existence, but what I’d really, really like is if you would fuck me, hard, until this bed falls apart.”  
Dean bit Cas’ lip.  
“Let’s break a bed.”


	4. Chapter 4

Dean grabs the coconut oil and squirts a decent amount in his hand. With his left he he gently ran his finger tips up Cas’ inner thigh, making him shiver and twitch. When the oil had warmed up a bit he coated his fingers and started massaging Cas’ hole. He slipped one finger in and Cas let out a low deep moan making Dean’s lips curl up in a mischievous grin. He slipped another finger in and slowly started to curl his fingers trying to find that sweet spot. Cas was gripping into the bed hard and when Dean found what he was looking for Cas went wild. Thrusting himself back on Dean’s fingers; Dean reached up and started playing with his still very sensitive cock. He stuck a third finger in and continued thrusting and rubbing.  
“Dean! I want you, please!” He took another squirt of lube and coated his own throbbing erection, which had been begging for attention since the start of this. Dean grabbed Cas’ legs tossed them over his shoulders and slipped inside Cas, who yelled out a lengthy list of swears that made Dean chuckle as he started rocking back and forth, in and almost out, in as far as he could, faster, harder; he leaned forward grabbing the head board with both fists and digging his nails into the wood. Cas’ hands clung to Deans muscular back trying to lift himself up just a little to allow Dean to thrust faster. It didn’t seem to make a difference, and Cas wanted more. He pushed up on Dean’s chest and Dean looked down at him worried.  
“I want you on you’re back.” Cas’ words were breathy and slow, but intimidatingly commanding. Before Dean could say anything Cas had flipped him over and was sitting on top of him starting to bounce.  
“Caaassssss.” Dean grunted his angel’s name. This was different but amazing, Dean was use to being in charge. Cas continued to bounce and the bed started squeaking loudly; seconds later there was the sound of wood cracking and the bottom left corner of the bed gave out.  
“Cas, I’m going to- !”  
“Cum for me, Dean.” Cas watched down as Dean reached his climax, and that face alone brought Cas tumbling over the edge, again. A stream of thick, warm cum landed on Dean’s chest as he was ridding the last wave of pleasure. Cas crawled off him and used the sheet to clean up their mess. He tossed it on the floor and then curled up next to the man he loved.  
“Wow... umm...wow.” Dean breathed. Cas started pecking little kisses on Dean’s neck and shoulder.  
“You look tired, is that from me or staying up all night?”  
“Both.” Dean reached around and placed his palm on Cas’ cheek.  
“So I guess I’m your angel now?” Cas’ smiled wide and his blue eyes sparkled.  
“You’ve always been my angel.” Dean said yawning. It was only a few moments after that, that Dean fell soundly asleep in Cas’ arms. 

Four hours later Dean awoke to find Cas watching him while playing with his hair.  
“I guess we’ll have to change that ‘no watching me when I sleep policy’ hmm?”  
“I’d like that.” Cas pecked Dean on the cheek.  
“How about a shower?” Dean asked stretching. Cas nodded and they relocated to the bathroom. After a long shower full of kisses they got dressed and got back on the road. Holding hands they talked about getting a queen size bed for Dean’s room, which would now be their room. They talked about what would be different and what would stay the same. When they finally got back to the bunker, Dean turned Baby off and squeezed his angel’s hand.  
“So how exactly do you want to tell Sam?” He asked. Cas thought for a second.  
“I think he’ll be able to tell.” Cas leaned in and kissed Dean’s forehead letting his lips linger there. Hand in hand they walked into the library where Sam was sitting doing something on his laptop. He looked up and Dean held his breath. Sam stood up and walked over to them wrapping them both up in his sasquatch arms.  
“So this? This is official?” He asked.  
“Yes.” Cas said as Dean nodded. Sam released them from his hug and took a few steps back. He smiled and then threw his hand in the air to do a fist pump.  
“Yes! I knew it!” He shouted. Dean’s cheeks when bright red and Cas started laughing hysterically. He pulled Dean close, wrapping him tightly in a protective grip.  
“Desn, he’s happy for us.” Cas rested his forehead against Dean’s.  
“I know.” Dean mumbled under his breath.  
“I love you, Dean.” Cas kissed him and then nuzzled into his neck.  
“I love you too, Cas. And I always will.”


End file.
